But when executed awkwardly, things can get a little cringy. So, today, we’re breaking down 31 tried-and-tested ways to flirt. These aren’t your grandmother’s flirting tips. You won’t find “wear a push-up bra” on our list. But we’re also not confining ourselves to hyper-politically correct advice — because sometimes, flirting well requires a dash of manipulative superficiality. Are you ready to learn how to flirt with your crush effectively? Let’s dive in.
Is There an Art to Flirting with a Guy?
Anthropologists have long studied the phenomenon of flirting, and they often land on the same conclusion: Regardless of culture or continent, flirting is an art and a social tool. A deliberately ambiguous behavior, flirting doesn’t necessarily need to be romantic — although it often is. Essentially, it’s one of the many ways humans size each other up and signal their interest or curiosity in others.
Do Give Non-Verbal Cues: Flirting is partly about what you don’t say rather than what you do, and non-verbal communication is key. Don’t Flirt at Inappropriate Times: No, you should not be flirting at funerals and other equally somber events. It’s also inappropriate in many professional situations. Read the room. Do Be Sincere: Flirting doesn’t work if it comes off phony. Don’t Ignore Requests: If people set boundaries, don’t cross them. If you do, it’s not flirting — it’s harassment.
How to Flirt with a Guy: 31 Ways to Drive Him Crazy
Ready to learn how to flirt with a man? Get comfortable because we’re unpacking over two dozen tips.
1. Draw Attention to Your Lips
When flirting with a new guy, subtly draw attention to your lips. We are NOT suggesting you start licking your lips like you’re on an Only Fans stream. It comes across as creepy, awkward, and downright laughable. Instead, apply some lip balm or bite your lip slightly. Flirt Level: Beginner
2. Use His Name
Use his name when talking to him. For starters, it personalizes the situation and may make it more comfortable. Moreover, it lets them know they have your attention. But don’t overdo it. There’s no need to say his name in every other sentence. Flirt Level: Beginner
3. Listen to Him
A major part of flirting is listening. After all, the best interactions build on themselves, which can’t happen with your head buried in your phone. Besides, there are few things ruder than ignoring someone talking to you. Flirt Level: Beginner
4. Tease Him
Teasing isn’t easy. You could argue it’s an art in and of itself. The key to good teasing is not crossing the line. The goal isn’t to be mean but cheeky. Teasing well requires learning to read a situation and keeping things light. After all, you never know what could trigger a given individual. Flirt Level: Intermediate
5. Compliment Him
Even people who swear they hate compliments love compliments. What they really hate is not knowing how to handle compliments gracefully. Professor Narihiro Sadato and associates studied the psychological impact of commendatory communication and found that praise is better at motivating people than money. In other words, flattery will get you everywhere. Try not to be too obvious, though. Flat-out saying, “OMG! You’re so hot!” can come across as desperate instead of flirty. Flirt Level: Intermediate
6. Laugh at His Jokes (If They’re Funny)
Laughter cuts tension, and humans love to make others giggle. So laugh at his jokes if you want to let him know you’re digging what he’s throwing down. But fake laughing is a no-no. People have a sixth sense of forced laughter. So you have one of two options: Scientifically speaking, laughter releases feel-good chemicals, which can spark a physical connection. Flirt Level: Beginner to Intermediate
7. Smile
A simple smile can accomplish so much. It signals that you’re approachable and friendly, and smiles also lighten the mood. But like all things, don’t overdo it! If you want to be in the top 10% of flirt experts, work on your smile in the mirror. (Hey, doing things well takes work.) Remember, you don’t want to look like you’re smirking or gurning. How do you make a friendly smile a bit more seductive? It’s all in the eyes. Flirt Level: Beginner to Advanced
8. Don’t Linger
Flirting is also about timing. To put it another way: Don’t linger. If you find someone interesting or engaging, leave before the conversation dies. You don’t want to find yourself standing there with nothing left to say the first time you chat. Instead, talk for a bit and then politely excuse yourself. It’s a type of hard-to-get. After that, try to ensure they see you mingling with other people. Flirt Level: Beginner
9. Let Them Catch You Looking
Letting a flirt interest catch you looking at them is a tried-and-tested technique. How does it work? There are a couple of different ways to get the job done. Initiate the Look: You’re in a room. Glance at your crush. Let your look linger if he’s not looking at you at all. Humans sense when people are observing them, so he’ll likely look over at some point. If this happens, look away immediately or give an inviting smile. Don’t, however, stare at him. If you keep glancing and he never looks your way, move on. Encourage His Look: In another scenario, you’re in a room and are looking around. As you’re scanning the space, you catch him looking at you. If interested, give an enthusiastic smile in return. Flirt Level: Intermediate
10. Look Your Best
If you’re going to a party or event where flirting opportunities may present themselves, make an effort to look great. We’re not suggesting you overhaul your entire aesthetic, rendering you unrecognizable; instead, put your “best you” forward. Self-care is a form of flirting. Flirt Level: Beginner
11. Just Say “Hi”
If you see someone attractive and they seem approachable, throw out a casual “Hi.” It’s non-threatening, and their response will speak volumes. If they rudely grunt at you, keep walking. If they smile and offer a hearty “hi” in return, strike up a conversation. Flirt Level: Beginner
12. Give a Wink
Friend, this move is not for novices! If you can’t wink, don’t try when out and about. We cannot stress this enough. There’s nothing quite as sexy as winking done right, and nothing is quite as… funny/embarrassing/awkward…when done wrong. For those who can manage a one-eye flutter, have at it. But remember, it’s a bold move. There’s no walking back a wink. Flirt Level: Advanced
13. Ask Fun Questions Via Text
Are you flirting by text? Since it’s a written medium, the best way to get your cute conversation on is by asking fun questions. Just make sure they match the mood. Moreover, if your texting partner politely asks you to steer away from a specific topic or approach, be respectful and comply. Also, don’t be too quick to respond. Wait for at least five or ten minutes between responses. It’ll drive him wild. Flirt Level: Beginner to Intermediate
14. Don’t Over-Text
On the opposite side of the coin, don’t over-text. If you’re constantly pestering your crush, they’ll get annoyed. Guaranteed. So play it cool. If they don’t respond, stop messaging. In fact, always try to be the one who “leaves” first. Flirt Level: Beginner
15. Ask Questions (And Remember the Answers)
Flirting is about sussing someone out, so ask questions! Stick to the basics at first: Where are you from? How did you end up here? Do you know anyone here? Ask their opinion about the work if you’re at an art opening. But remember to listen to their answers. You’d be surprised at the number of people who throw out questions and then forget to wait for the reply. If you’re interested in getting to know someone a bit better, focus on their answers. Fully engage yourself in the conversation. Flirt Level: Beginner Want To Get Matching Couple Tattoos? 75 Soulmate Tats That Are Decidedly Dope Does He Love Me? 23 Clear Signs He Does 159 Romantic Things To Do With the One You Love
16. Be Mysterious
Mystery is attractive, so leave some questions unanswered. Besides, you want to save certain conversations for the first date, no? Be strategic and answer questions in ways that will heighten his interest. Flirt Level: Intermediate to Advanced
17. Keep it Light
Keep things light when flirting. Listen to your grannie’s advice and avoid contentious topics like politics and religion. Moreover, don’t ask personal questions too soon. After all, would you want to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets to someone you just met? Flirt Level: Beginner
18. Ignore Him
Yes, playing hard to get works well. When done deftly, you’ll have him eating out of your hands. Why? Because part of the human condition is wanting what we can’t have. All that said, getting this flirting technique right requires walking a tightrope between ignoring him and letting him know you’re somewhat interested. Flirt Level: Advanced
19. Never Use Pick-Up Lines Earnestly
Sarcasm is fine, but you should never use pick-up lines earnestly. They are the opposite of cool. Now, if you can find a way to fit one in as a joke, go ahead. But canned lines are no bueno. Flirt Level: Beginner
20. Offer To Buy Them a Drink
Be bold and offer to buy him a drink. No rule says you can’t. If he accepts, super. If not, move on — for if there is one flirting rule that everyone should commit to memory, it’s this: Trying to chat-up people who clearly have no interest in you is pointless and will only make you feel bad — and you don’t need that. Flirt Level: Beginner
21. Engage in Light Touching
We offer this tip with a huge caveat: touching someone who doesn’t want to be touched is never OK. When someone asks you to keep your distance, do it! However, light touching on the arm or leg can sometimes be a super-charged flirting technique. Typically, you should wait until it’s obvious that sparks are flying. Start with a super light touch on the hand, or maybe touch the small of his back if you’re navigating a crowded room. Flirt Level: Intermediate
22. End the Conversation First
Get out of there first! That’s right: Leave before he has the chance. It serves two purposes: Flirt Level: Beginner
23. Maintain Strong Eye Contact
We don’t want you adopting “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” eyes, but maintaining strong visual contact is an effective flirting tool. It signals that you’re engaged in the conversation and are enjoying yourself. It also suggests that you like looking at them, which is a non-verbal complement. Flirt Level: Advanced
24. Don’t Adopt a False Persona
When it comes to flirting, dating, and making friends, it’s never a good idea to pretend to be someone you’re not. Doing so is misery-making — whether we realize it or not — and can lead to intense mental health struggles. Besides, genuine relationships and connections can’t sprout from lies. So when you’re flirting, be yourself. That said, being yourself can be one of the most challenging things to master. So don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while. Just strive for authenticity whenever possible. Flirt Level: Advanced
25. Do Adopt an Enhanced Persona
Have you ever heard of the “superhero” trick? The way it works is that you come up with an alter ego that has all the qualities you wish to embody. Someone working on developing confidence may create an avatar with a healthy sense of self-assurance. Another individual who wants to be more compassionate may choose to craft an endearingly kind personality. Once you’ve outlined your “superhero,” go out as them — like it’s Halloween. You may say: “Wait a second. Didn’t you say that authenticity mattered?” You’re right. But we’d argue that adopting a persona is more about enhancing the real you than being someone different. Flirt Level: Intermediate
26. Be Confident
Confidence is intoxicating — in a good way. Granted, cultivating non-arrogant confidence is the furthest thing from easy. It takes time and experience. But once you get the hang of it, self-possession will prove to be a boon companion. Take the advice of Oscar Wilde’s Lord Goring, who said that “to love one’s self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Flirt Level: Advanced
27. Focus on Making Them Feel Good
Many people forget that flirting is equally about the other person, not just you. Jean Smith, author of “Flirtology: Stop Swinging, Start Talking and Find Love,” explained to NPR: “You get a much better result [when flirting] if, instead of trying to get others to make us feel good, we actually concentrate on making them feel good.” So make an effort to elevate their mood. Flirt Level: Beginner
28. Be a Smartass
(This is for all the brainy ladies out there.) As we’ve said, there’s an art to flirting. And there’s also an art to being a smartass. Do it wrong, and you come off as an arrogant wagtail; get it right, and you’ll be the most interesting woman in the world. Fun smartassery can also be used as a filter. It lets him know you have a brain in your head and have no intention of holding back. If he doesn’t enjoy your Dorothy Parker wit — (or worse, doesn’t “get” it) — then he’s probably not the beau for you. Flirt Level: Advanced
29. Don’t Giggle, Bend, and Toss
There’s nothing inherently wrong with giggling. A good giggle with friends can be mana for the soul. Or, at the very least, make you feel better. However, faux giggling reads as over-anxious and phony. Pairing it with a hair toss or seductive body movement can make it even worse. A sincere laugh, giggle, or even snorttle is great for flirting. Fake ones don’t work well. Flirt Level: Beginner
30. Mirror the Person
Mirroring is a communication technique that can take a while to master. The idea is to subtly mimic the gestures, postures, and nods of the person you’re chatting with. Why? It subconsciously makes people feel more at ease, which is what you want when flirting. Don’t copy the person move for move. Instead, notice small movements, and incorporate them into your non-verbal communication. Flirt Level: Advanced
31. Give an Eyebrow Flash
Batting your eyelids is so last century. These days, a flirty eyebrow lift accomplishes the same thing — and it’s much easier to do. What’s an eyebrow flash? Simply simple and then quickly move your eyebrows up and down. That’s it. Eyebrow flashes are super easy to do, and they subtly signal that you’re intrigued. Flirt Level: Beginner We hope you found some of these flirty tips for girls helpful. Remember: Stick to tactics you can pull off, and always be yourself. Authenticity is the best flirting tool in your arsenal. But most importantly, have fun!
